Husband Needs Intimacy Wife Holds Back

Tough situation guys but it might do some good to check these areas:

1. What is the level of respect in your relationship. You can not dishonor, degrade, not help with life issues or daily household responsibilities including children and expect a willing wife. Websters definition of respect is to honor, to hold in consideration, to express esteem, good wishes, worthy of respect, to hold as reputable, to treat decently and with moderation. Write down each of those definitions, make a list from 1-10 and see how many of those terms you can fill up.

2. How to you speak to her and present issues to her? Rate yourself from 1-10. Ten being the best. Speech starts off on the worst end as confrontational, critical to the high end of praise and adoration. Issue presentation starts off as always having to be right on the worst end to listening and being appologetic on the high end.

3. What environment do you create most often the quick fix or a night out on the town with romance in mind. I heard a marriage couselor say recently the one of his clients wanted more intimacy, but he kept missing connections. His wife wanted to go to the opera and he refused to go. She kept asking him to take her until one day he finally did. When this happened she started responding to him more, so he went out and bought season tickets to the opera and now their intimacy is much better even though he still hates the opera. I thought this was funny but at least it worked.

4. How often to your express your love and appreciation and do you ever buy her spontaneous gifts or do spontaneous things?

5. Does your wife need more assistance to keep her from being to tired or worn out from the kids?

6. Are there any issues from the past or any trauma in her life that keeps her from being responsive. If so, please get help.

7. Do you keep your babies sleep in the same room with you? This can be a great distraction and may even hinder her from concentrating.

8. Is she an out of control woman that needs help learning to be a wife? Meaning she is gone all of the time and rarely makes room for you or your children. If so seek counsel.

9. Are you keeping your marriage bed undfefiled (read my article Between the Sheets). Women need security and feel comfortable with being transparent. Don't do leud things to your wife and if you are addicted to pornography get it out of your life quickly.

10. Do you understand that women need romance. It is all kinds of stuff you can do in that area, you have to be creative. One thing that I saw recently was a bag of love tokens. Each token had something written on it like, I love you so I will give you a massage or this token is for a night out. Make your own tokens. Write love letter. There is a book out right now that is a number one seller on nothing but love letters men wrote to women during the Civil War. Go out to your back yard at night and make dinner under the stars.
Certain things you just have to work at.

11. How is your hygiene?

12. How well do you keep yourself up? If she married MR. GQ don't let the years slip by and turn into farmer John.

Linda Leon is a person who loves God, enjoys inspiring people and has done a gazillion things like write books, produce TV programs, and get ordained. Feel free to contact her blog at http://www.lifeis2good.wordpress.com ©copyright 2007 by Linda Leon. Leon.